DOUBT, STAGE RIGHT

It happened while I was waiting for Mr. Wu to take care of some carry-out orders.

I watched him as he sprinted  back and forth from the cash register to the kitchen like the human cannonball  in a pinball machine.

And then,  as he turned away from me  to take the order of a young couple, my gaze happened to fall upon his slender backside.

My heart plummeted into my empty stomach.  Doubt. Stage right. Cue the first ominous measures  of JAWS. My mind  adroitly  raced around  all the bases  of worry and slid into the dusty home plate of  despair.

I frowned and asked myself,  “What  if Mr. Wu is one of the lucky few who can eat and eat and never gain an ounce?”

What pink fluffy cloud of euphoric hope  had allowed me the opiate delusion that  I could eat like this metabolic marvel and not gain weight?

With a Perry Mason sneer,  I continued my own  cross examination, “Tell me– if you can remember– can you recall if  your own backside has ever been that size?”

Now,  I was no longer talking to myself, but instead addressing  a rapt and somber jury sitting where my self esteem used to be. The closing argument was coming to its resounding and predictable climax,  “No, you can’t remember, can you, in fact, you would  have to ask your mother,  wouldn’t you, since she and the doctor who  delivered you are the only two humans who have ever seen your  fanny when it was that small.”

Ah.  And then, just as all seems lost,  the music swells, the  double doors swing dramatically open and like the lone lost witness to the truth…

Reason enters. Stage left.

The Wu Food Project  is about changing my habits so that I can be a healthy person.

It is not about how far I hit the golf ball, but how much can I improve my swing–and if my swing is good and true, then the rest will follow. And for now, my goal is a reasonable and sensible  goal of changing my habits and losing  five pounds.

The Wu Project is about looking ahead –not re-creating  Mr. Wu’s rear view.

Doubt exits. Stage… no, wait. I am in the writer’s seat.

Doubt ignominiously falls into the orchestra pit between the violins and the violas. (No musicians were harmed in the writing of this blog.)

As the curtains fall,  reason gets the girl.

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2 thoughts on “DOUBT, STAGE RIGHT

  1. Neither you nor I will ever be as thin as Mr. Wu. You are right that this is about eating the right foods and making your own progress. From what I know that you have been eating, at his direction, you are eating healthy food. You are avoiding most red meat and concentrating on vegetables, fish and chicken. Give it a little time, the weight will start to diminish.

  2. Wait, does this mean Perry Mason and his sneer lose a case? No, it can’t be. He always defeated the prosecutor — Hamilton Burger, the red meat DA. Nothing but the truth, and some asparagus.

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