Farewell, Foodlandia

Someone very thoughtfully brought these three roses to me today, knowing that I always place three white roses on our Thanksgiving table in memory of Daniel and Adrienne's daddy, Bruce's daddy, and my rose-- Adrienne.

About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters; how well, they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along…

W.H. Auden

Because I was restless, I took a walk after dinner last night and tonight. I was surprised at how windy it was–it felt good  and matched my mood.

A poem by Allen Ginsberg that I once  memorized came to me as I walked under the mellow glow of the streetlights.

“Will we walk all night through solitary streets?  the trees add  shade to shade, lights out in the houses, we’ll both be lonely.

Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottages?”

I am alone, but strangely not very lonely.  Right now, solitude is my buddy, and it is in short supply in my work-a -day world. In that way I am very blessed, since the two balance each other in a very yin and yang kind of way.

One area in my life that did not have balance was the part that encompassed my relationship to food. I  simply spent way too much time obsessing over what was going to go or not to go into  my mouth.  The Wu food Project is shifting my thoughts toward health and away from individual dishes.

It’s all been quite freeing, this leave-of-absence from Foodlandia.  I had not recognized how absorbed I had become with food in general, whether watching shows on the Cooking Network,  reading about food, shopping for food, preparing food or eating food. Now when I see some food that has no merit but all kinds of eye appeal, I switch the channel or turn the page  rather than oogle food that I have no business thinking about.

Today was exactly the  kind of day that in the past could  have become  a caloric nightmare.

Crunchy, salty crackers or  a cheese-topped  pasta  bathed in a rich, creamy sauce would have seemed downright  medicinal. I would have eaten them, felt better for a moment, and then felt even worse.

Thank goodness for the Wu Food Project!

It has been a long day, the longest day of the year, and it is time at last  to lay my head on my pillow.

Goodnight, Adrienne. Mommy loves you.


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