They always say….be careful what you wish for.
And now they’ve gone and done it–the McBowl of Oatmeal has landed with a creamy glop in a paper cup underneath the golden arches.
What is it with Ronaldo? How I would have loved to be around the table with the tasters-in-chief as they puzzled over how to make a plain and healthy bowl of homely oatmeal into a tarted up concoction.
“Let’s add maple flavor”, someone must have suggested.
“Yeah, maple, and I know, BROWN SUGAR!” the ambitious junior executive exclaimed.
“That’s good, very good,” the McUber Boss said thoughtfully, “but we have to make it seem healthy.”
“Fruit, fruit is supposed to be healthy,” someone said in a muffled voice. It was not immediately clear who at the table had mumbled the “f” word, but everyone had heard it.
They waited to see what the McUber Boss would do. “Right! There’s nothing wrong with fruit, not if it’s candied, er, I mean, handled properly. ”
The bright-eyed junior exec leaned forward. “Dried cranberries. We got ’em already in the pipeline and are putting them on salads. Cranberries are golden.”
“Golden! What can we add that is golden?” the McUber Boss wondered.
The new hire, a girl who the junior exec decided he’d have to pay more attention to answered quietly, “Raisins.”
“Brilliant!” The McUber Boss was beaming. “We’re on a roll now.”
“Apples!” the junior exec said with authority, “Apples are American as…”
“As apple pie!” exclaimed the Uber Boss. “That’s it! We’ll make the oatmeal taste like granny’s homemade apple crisp! By the time we pour in a bit of cream, people will forget they’re eating something healthy!”
And verily it is the humble bowl of oatmeal that eats like a dessert. Leave it to Ronald. Calorie wise, they have taken what would have topped out around 150 calories, and cobbled (if cobbler was a verb meaning “to pie”) it into a creamy bowl of yumminess that will set you back 290 calories.
I asked for brown sugar free oatmeal, but I noted when I got home and checked the McDonald’s nutrition website, that brown sugar is listed as an ingredient of the cereal component–According to their site, here’s what’s in their souped up oatmeal:
“Whole grain rolled oats, brown sugar, food starch-modified, salt, natural maple flavor with other natural flavor (plant source), barley malt extract, caramel color.” Tally for that is 190.
The diced apples only add 10 calories, but the “dried cranberry and raisin blend” shoulders its way in at 70 calories. Surprise! The blend contains among other things, sugar. Here’s that list:
Dried sweetened cranberries (sugar, cranberries), California raisins, golden raisins, sunflower oil, sulfur dioxide (preservative).
Your final 20 calories comes from the addition of light cream. But of course it is not that simple. Here is what you get in addition to light cream in your light cream!
“Milk, cream, sodium phosphate, datem, sodium stearoyl lactylate, sodium citrate, carrageenan.”
All of this brings your total caloric intake to 290. And as Lucy said in her memorable commercial for vitameatavegimin–“It’s so TASTY, too!”
In fact, for a healthy low cal dessert–you are in good shape!
But to put it all in perspective, a McDonald’s Egg McMuffin in all of its margarined splendor is 300 calories.
Still, for all of my grousing, I am happy to see it on the menu.
But I am going to stick to home, unsweetened homely oatmeal.
Theirs just makes me crave a pie plate of my mom’s apple crisp.