Only a few persistent terrors haunt me. That’s strong language, and it would seem to lurch into the purple prose of hyperbole, except that it is the truth.
The flip side is that for the most part, mine is and has always been a sunny and optimistic existence. My childhood experience was one of nature and nobility, flowers and sunshine and self discipline and love. Last and not least was a pervasive sense of community and spirituality. There was an abundance of music, and books, wonderful teachers, and an awareness of local politics and global events. There was football. And there was green grass, creeks and lakes, home grown vegetables, black berry cobblers and pound cake, sweet home churned ice cream, tree ripened peaches and vine ripened watermelons.
Maybe it was that very golden globe of opportunity that has given form to my principal terror–that I will not have lived the life I have been given fully, truthfully, and fruitfully. Am I wasteful of the days, unmindful of the minutes which tick silently away?
We sleep. And then we wake up, tear around, and go back to sleep again. I often wish I did not have to sleep because there are truly not enough minutes in a day to accomplish all that I need to do.
And then, there are those who spend their entire days in prayer, which to me, seems a rather self indulgent waste of time, and a waste of God given talents and abilities.
When our group was at our retreat in Coffeeville, Mississippi, we attended and performed at the Coffeeville United Methodist Church. The congregation worships in a small chapel facing a beautiful stained glass rendering of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane while Peter, James and John slumber.
As they slept, the miraculous took place.
As we sat together in those pews, I studied the sleeping saints. I don’t want to be asleep at the switch when the miraculous is occurring in my life.
I don’t want to miss something magical because I am so immersed in a mundane task or so involved in some idle preoccupation that I miss a life changing moment. I want to live my life to the fullest.
Being healthy is the first and most basic step I can make toward living the life I should.When I gained 4 pounds by schlepping away from the healthy menus of Mr. Wu, it was a wake up call to get back to work on my eating habits.
Thankfully, with a little extra exercise, and a steadfast adherence to Wu Food, I have lost those four pounds–and I have that wonderful feeling that comes from catching yourself before you make a total freefall.
I can’t make it without seven hours of sleep–but at least I can make the most of the minutes that I am awake. I can try a lot harder to accomplish more and to be a better person. Every minute counts.
I don’t want to miss a miracle.